ARCHIVE: Witney Town v Ashford Town. Doc Martens League Division 1 East. 2000-1 season.

Witney Town     1       Ashford Town         3

from your Milton Keynes correspondent

I hate to bore you all with this again, but that statistic is building up - 32 games without a draw this season at the start of this match, which is quite an exceptional stat. And so’s this one : only one clean sheet in 32 games; although I should add that the lads have only failed to score in seven of them. And whilst I have the attention of all you anoraks, here’s a question,

Q. : What does Witney Town FC have in common with Real Madrid, Manchester United and Doncaster Belles ?

A. : They’ve NEVER beaten Ashford Town at home. (Mind you, the other three probably would if we ever played them !).

So what could we expect from the trip to Witney ?  Not a bad side, Witney - 11th in the table (two places above us), but, curiously, the worst-supported side in the division, with an average home crowd of just over a hundred (which is basically just Mums and Dads ! ). Thanks go to Tonbridge Angels’ excellent web-site for that gem of information, by the way.

Cracking performances away to Premier Division sides Grays, Crawley and Weymouth this season had shown that Ashford were perfectly capable of getting a result here, but it had all started to get a bit sloppy of late - a run of four consecutive defeats, including three against teams in the bottom five of our division !  If it were merely a question of motivation, then today’s match was going to be a test - out of all cup competitions, and just the 21 league matches to complete, with a final position somewhere in mid-table virtually guaranteed. Would the boys realise that next year’s push for promotion - and surely that can’t be too outrageous to hope for - starts NOW ?!

I went to the corresponding fixture a couple of years ago - the first time I’d seen the team play for some time. When we were 0-2 up with 20 minutes to play, I tried to cast my mind back to the last time that I had actually seen Ashford win (must’ve been some time before Walsall beat us 1-3 in the FA Cup at Essella Park in the seventies !).  I went up to three old boys in green & white scarves, who were obviously regulars, and said : “Do you realise that, if we hang on here, it’ll be the first time I’ve seen Ashford win for 25 years ?!”. The little one in the middle (who turned out to be Pat Earl !) said : “Well, it takes us a long time sometimes !!”. We held on to win 0-2 ! 

Witney’s new ground, Marriotts Stadium, is situated in an industrial estate just beyond the western outskirts of the town. It’s handy to drive to - just off the A40, and with plenty of car parking space. It took us just 1¼ hours to drive from Milton Keynes. It’s a strange sort of a ground, dominated by a huge, almost square, stand, which is almost as deep as it is long. It’s an impressive building, though, and, with only about 250 seats stuck on the front of it, (and most of those never have a bum near them), it’s obviously intended to be a multi-function facility. As for the rest of the ground, there is a covered standing area on the other side of the pitch, and a stand at one end - unfortunately, the end from which the wind whistles in is open. This is the wind that was cooling the back of Craig Tucker’s neck in the first half. Apart from the wind, it was a fine, sunny day in Oxfordshire, (although my wife, of course, was freezing – sometimes, it’s like being married to Alan Green !), but the pitch looked a bit patchy even before the kick-off.

The team news was interesting - no Steve Marshall up front, and no Steve Robinson, so Tony Eeles captained the side in his absence. There was also a new name for me - Joe Cornwall in defence (sorry, Joe, if I’ve got your name wrong !). With both Jon Warden and Nicky Arundel leaving the Club in mid-week, to return to Kent League football, there was a starting place for the promising Dave Peachey, alongside Player-Coach Steve Lovell. The fact that Assistant Manager Peter “Ashford ‘til I die” McRobert was also named among the three substitutes probably betrayed the fact that Tommy Sampson was a bit light on personnel for this game - I’m sure that the inside story will be revealed in Tommy’s column on this web-site before long ! 

So it was a 4-4-2 formation for Ashford, with Paul Ribbens wide on the right and Kirk Watts wide on the left in midfield, playing in white shirts, green shorts and white socks. (I actually have a soft spot for this strip - it’s the combination that we invariably wore in the early seventies, when we had what was arguably our best ever side; the days when Peter Sillett was in charge and Alan Morton was banging in all those goals; when Scarborough robbed us 1-0 in the semi-final of the FA Trophy, with a very dodgy penalty !).

There was certainly plenty of time to reminisce in the first quarter of an hour of the match, as nothing of any note happened in this time - as the match reporters on the radio say : “I’ve written nothing in my note book !”  This was not due to any shortage of endeavour from the players - it’s just that everything was compressed into the middle third of the pitch. There was a strange, Sunday afternoon atmosphere about the game - blue skies, and with both benches making marginally more noise than the very sparse crowd.

Then, after 16 minutes, Jason Ash put the ball out for a corner to Witney. As the ball was swung across, the referee blew up for a free-kick - it was not immediately clear which team had been penalised. There was no reaction from the crowd - mainly because there was no crowd - and both sets of players seemed to be querying the decision. Dave Peachey was in the area, looking both bewildered and disappointed, and the referee seemed to be making his way towards the penalty spot - a penalty, maybe ?  I heard someone in the home crowd say “Oh, good”, so that confirmed it. The word filtering back to the touchline from the players was that the penalty was for pushing, against Dave Peachey.

There was no doubt about the spot-kick, though - Witney’s Keith Knight planted the ball firmly to Craig Tucker’s left, to become the home side’s top scorer this season, with nine goals. So 1-0 to the Blanketmen. (If you know your industrial history, you won’t need any explanation for this nickname !).

Ashford reacted to going behind by picking up the pace, and looked slightly the better side for most of the rest of the half, but still made little headway in terms of an equaliser. Steve Lovell looked strong, and won plenty of balls in the air, but seemed to miss his regular striking partner. A nod-down by Lovell, after 21 minutes, did, however, lead to Ashford’s only recognisable chance in the first period, with midfielder Adrian Webster picking the ball up and running at the Witney defence. The Australian transferred the ball onto his right foot, and shot low, but just wide.

The only other glimmer of hope for the visitors before half-time came after 43 minutes when Lovell controlled the ball on his chest, swivelled and shot, but the effort was a weak one, and, as the old-timers say, the goalie could have “thrown his cap on it”. Incidentally, although it’s old news now, I feel I should say something about Steve’s decision to stick with the job at Ashford, instead of taking the offer of the Manager’s post at Sittingbourne. This is an important “barometer reading”. Obviously, a bloke like him will have some long-term ambitions to go into management, so the fact that he (and also Tommy) have pledged their immediate future to The Homelands sends a message to players, supporters and officials alike that there might be something worth persevering with at the Club !  Well, Tommy, for one, is certainly not doing it for the money !  Let’s hope that their loyalty is repaid some day.

A quiet half ended with a scare for Ashford. A cross from the Witney right was headed goalwards, and, with Tucker beaten, was cleared off the line by the newcomer Cornwall. So very little to report in the “incidents” column - Webster’s shot for Ashford, a soft penalty for Witney, and neither goalie actually making a save.

And so to half-time, and a pleasant surprise in the music department - rather than the usual seventies rubbish belting out on the tanoy (the curse of the smaller football ground), there was a first chance to hear a new release. Bruce Grobelaar’s debut single. A catchy cover version of Bob the Builder’s Christmas hit. Just love that chorus : -

            “           Grob the Builder,

                        Can he fix it ?

                        Grob the Builder,

                        YES HE CAN !!        ”

(What was the number of that solicitor’s again, Steve ?!)

The second half began much more brightly, with Ashford out of the traps pretty quickly. Our first attack, in the first minute, ended with a foul on Dave Peachey. Tony Eeles found Peachey’s head from the resulting free-kick, but the ball was put behind for a corner.

Moments later, it was the home side - playing in all-yellow, as usual - who came forward. Joe Cornwall committed the cardinal sin for a defender - he was caught in possession as the last man !  The Witney player who robbed him, first half substitute Richard Bourne, bore down on the Ashford goal, but shot straight into Craig Tucker’s arms.

Two minutes into the second half, Ashford won a throw-in, deep in the Witney half, on the right. Paul Ribbens threw the ball long, into the penalty area, where it fell at the feet of Tony Eeles. The stand-in skipper seemed to have all the time in the world, and was able to pass the ball into the far corner of the net. Yet another goal in a prolific season for the midfield general, and “i verdibianchi” were all square.

(Okay, so I’m being flash coming out with the italian - but you have to admit that it adds a touch of class to the web-site).

Tommy Sampson’s boys then largely took control of the game, having the lion’s share of possession and doing all the pressing. After 54 minutes, Tom Binks came on as sub for Joe Cornwall, after which Steve Taylor pushed further forward down the right, linking up well with Paul Ribbens. In this half - whether or not it was by chance or by design - it was young Dave Peachey who was the target of most long balls forward, and, in spite of his slight frame (he’s built rather like Rodney Trotter !), he was strong and competitive. But still the flick-ons and lay-offs didn’t quite come off.

To be honest, Ashford’s dominance was helped by Witney Town being fairly poor during this period - the best that they could offer in response to the equaliser was a speculative, long-range shot from Mike Cook, which was again straight into Tucker’s arms.

The next clear-cut chance fell to the visitors, after 55 minutes. Steve Lovell was fouled, deep in the Witney half. Tony Eeles’s free-kick was only half cleared, and Paul Ribbens’ header back into the danger zone found Dave Peachey on the edge of the six-yard box. As a natural goal-scorer, he looked odds-on to put the lads in the lead, but he pulled his shot across the face of the goal. (“Rodders, you plonker !”).

After 63 minutes, young David won yet another ball in the air, which Steve Lovell ran onto - unfortunately, he got the shot completely wrong, and sliced it well wide. Well, as Coach, you sometimes have to show the youngsters how NOT to do it !

By the time the home side made their second substitution - Geoff Neville, in the 64th minute - the pitch was beginning to cut up very badly, but Ashford were still in control, with most of our best work continuing to come down the right , through Steve Taylor and the excellent Paul Ribbens. The fact that the right wing area began to resemble a ploughed field told us something about the way the match was going !

After 67 minutes, it was Taylor who made in-roads into the Blanketmen’s penalty area, getting to the by-line before being brought down. Gentle appeals for the penalty were turned down, and the Nuts & Bolts had to settle for a corner on the right. This was taken by Kirk Watts, who had been having a quiet second half, after looking quite lively in the first period, but his cross was headed wide.

Just after the hour mark, the home side did come back into the game a little more, but could manage only a corner, after 69 minutes, which resulted in an Ashford free-kick for a foul on goalkeeper Tucker, and another optimistic long-range effort, that went well over the bar, on 70 minutes.

It was at about this time that there was the most amusing incident of the game. One of the Witney players responded to some on-going stick from an Ashford fan behind the goal by shouting : “Shut up, Noddy Holder !”. (A reference to his Barnet !). That was really refreshing. A fan being barracked by a player. It could only happen in non-league footy ! 

Witney had a rather better chance after 76 minutes, when goal scorer Keith Knight was put clean through on goal. Craig Tucker came out to meet him, and Knight pulled his shot wide - he should have done better.

After 82 minutes, Ashford won a throw-in on the left, level with the penalty area. Again, they tried the long-throw routine - the throw was flicked on at the near post, and Tony Eeles was waiting at the far side of the box, as the last man, and drilled the ball into the corner of the net, hitting roughly the same spot that he had for the equaliser. Inevitably, there was the chant of : “Eelesy, Eelesy, Goal Machine” from the Ashford faithful behind the goal. The nickname “Goal Machine” has always meant to be ironic, as Tony has, traditionally, not scored the number of goals that you might expect from a player with his talent, but he’s certainly been banging the goals in this season !  1-2 to the Greens !

Witney never threatened to come back after this - their only remaining goal attempt came with a free-kick outside the penalty area, with two minutes to go, which was hit straight at Craig Tucker.

Then with 90 minutes on the watch - Scott McRobert having replaced Kirk Watts five minutes earlier - Dave Peachey burst onto a lobbed through-ball from midfield, leaving the home defence for dead. In a one-on-one situation with goalkeeper Tom King, Peachey shaped to curl the shot into the net with his in-step - King got a hand to the ball, but could not prevent it from ending up in the top corner of the net. A good striker’s goal for David, and one which was just reward for his good battling performance in the second half.

The 1-3 scoreline was also just reward for the team, for bossing the last 45 minutes, having been a goal down to a soft penalty at half-time. The victory was just what Tommy needed, after four consecutive defeats - let’s hope that the boys can now go on to finish the season strongly, to set us up for a promotion campaign next season. There are plenty of stern tests to come this term, though - we still have the Isle of Wight to play twice, Hastings to play twice, and have to go to the likes of Grantham and Rothwell. Also, Histon will be no push-overs.

Which brings us back to those amazing statistics. The magic number is now 33 : 16 wins, 17 defeats ...... and no draws. Also, Witney still haven’t beaten us on their home ground - either in this new stadium, or at their old place. Spare a thought for Craig Tucker and the defence, though - they were really unlucky not to have doubled their tally of clean sheets for the season !

ARCHIVE: Whyteleafe v Ashford Town. Ryman League Division 1 South. 26th of December 2006.

Whyteleafe         1       Ashford Town   1

from Your Milton Keynes Correspondent

Boxing Day 2006. This was another first for us, going to a footy match on Boxing Day, as we’ve previously always spent the day with the in-laws, as a sort of return leg from Christmas Day. It’s also a day when, traditionally, the fixtures compilers arrange some local derbies for clubs, to both minimise travelling for players and supporters, and to maximize gate receipts for those clubs scheduled to play at home. It was a bit galling for both Whyteleafe and Ashford Town, therefore, that, on a day when the fixture lists included Ramsgate v Margate, Sittingbourne v Maidstone, Chatham v Dartford and Erith & Belvedere v Erith Town, the two teams should be down to play each other. Unsurprisingly, the match attracted a crowd of only 129.

This was also the fourth match of John Cumberbatch’s reign as sole Manager, and it must be said that we approached the game with a rare sense of hope, after John had got off the mark with a deserved victory against a decidedly useful side in top-of-the-table Dulwich Hamlet on Saturday. According to eye-witnesses from both sides, Ashford looked both useful and committed. The victory was also founded upon a seemingly bizarre team selection, with Anthony Allman and Simon Glover, our two “class acts” in the centre of midfield for much of this season, being deployed at right- and left-back, respectively, and with vertically-challenged Tom Adlington played in central defence. Well, whether or not this was a stroke of genius from John, it certainly seemed to do the trick. And, as if to make the point that this team selection was not merely an aberration, the same starting line-up turned out for this noon kick-off, in spite of centre-half Nick Fenwick being fit enough to occupy a place on the bench - and all three of these lads had an excellent game in defence today.

Before describing the day’s events, I feel I should acknowledge a little debt of gratitude that we owe Whyteleafe FC, for saving us from relegation at the end of the 2004-5 season. Travelling to Horsham for the final game of that season, Ashford knew that they needed a victory to ensure safety from making the drop down to the Kent League – unfortunately, we got hammered 5-0, and it was only Whyteleafe’s 3-1 win over Dorking, here at Church Road, that pulled our nuts out of the fire. I should also say that everyone from the club that we met today went out of their way to be friendly and welcoming, so it was a pity that the ‘Leafe’s team management personnel acted in such a loutish and unsportsmanlike manner. We’ve become accustomed to the pitch-side banter being a little raucus at times, but their sledging of our players was unnecessarily unpleasant and personal, and the man who carried the big bag of balls did himself and his club no favours with his uncalled-for volleys of foul-mouthed abuse directed at the Ashford bench.

That 2004-5 season was three relegation scraps ago now, as we again find ourselves just three places from the bottom of the table, with today’s opponents just one place below us, level on points, but having played three games more. The game was therefore very much a six-pointer, with our hosts arguably in even greater need of the points than ourselves – they had also failed to register a single home win in the league this season, (with their last such victory at home, I’m told, being back in February).

So the team news was that Ashford were unchanged from the side that beat Dulwich Hamlet, with the only change to the team sheet being the addition of Nick Fenwick to the subs bench; the team was therefore, (from right to left, and in 4-4-2 formation): Jake Whincup, Anthony Allman, Marc Cumberbatch, Tommy Adlington, Simon Glover, Drew Watkins, Kevin Lott, Matt Carruthers, Kenny Jarrett-Elliott, Walid Matata and George Fenwick. The full list of subs was Ian Ross, Luke Coleman, Jamie Leggett, Nick F and Joe Hitchings (whose appearance from the bench on Saturday brought his total time spent on the pitch this season up to 78 minutes).

In the first half, Ashford played up the slope of a pitch that was both bumpy and undulating, and that had several bare, muddy patches. The home side, playing in green shirts, with white shorts and sockies, having forsaken their more familiar Celtic-style strip of green and white hoops, did most of the early pressing, and, with the exception of an off-target, long-range effort from Anthony Allman, Ashford found it hard to get out of their own half in the opening ten minutes. The first real chance that our boys, playing in an all-yellow strip, managed to create came in the twelfth minute. This came about as a result of a foul on Kevin Lott. The free-kick was taken by Anthony Allman, who today shared the dead-ball duties with Kenny Jarrett-Elliott; Anthony chipped the ball into the centre of the penalty area, where Marc Cumberbatch rose to meet it, only to see Danny Coote, in the Whyteleafe goal, make a comfortable catch.

Whyteleafe themselves had a free-kick in a dangerous position, in the 15^th minute, after Tommy Adlington had tapped the heels of Danny Plâtel, from behind. This was taken by Jo Clarke – the only man on the pitch with more grey hair than your correspondent. His cross into the area was a good one, but Daniel Hornsby’s push on Tom Adlington was as obvious as they come, and he didn’t get away with it.

In the 17^th minute, Ashford had a free-kick, near the right touchline, which was awarded for hand-ball. Kenny Three Names whipped this in, with pace, attacking the near post – two yellow shirts also attacked the near post, in what was obviously a pre-planned ploy, but Danny Coote (who wasn’t actually bald) held onto the ball well. Within seconds, Whyteleafe took the lead – and it was Ashford’s new ‘keeper, Jake Whincup, who didn’t exactly cover himself in glory with this one. An up & under into the Ashford penalty area appeared to be bouncing harmlessly out towards the corner flag, but this was hoiked back in, hoisted high once again, by Daniel Hornsby. This was always going to be a tricky one to deal with, as it was on course to drop into the Ashford goal, but it was in the air for a long time, and Jake really should have done something decisive with it. Instead, it was allowed to bounce off either Danny Plâtel or Marc Cumberbatch, and plop over the line. There was some suggestion that it might have been a Cumberbatch own goal, but it was confirmed at half time that the goal was awarded to Plâtel, the man with a circumflex – and I bet you didn’t even know he was Jewish ! 

To give credit to the home side, they fought hard to protect their lead, snapping in tackles, and chances were hard to come by for Ashford, but Walid Matata had a chance to score his first goal for the club, in the 21^st minute. Kevin Lott released him through on goal, with a visionary pass from inside the centre circle, but Walid scuffed his first-time shot wide of the goal. In the 28^th minute, he showed a touch of class, as he expertly turned Kris Barry, rounded another Whyteleafe defender, and then put in a low centre, looking for George Fenwick. George flicked the ball back with the outside of his boot, to set Matt Carruthers up with a great chance to score, but, disappointingly, Matt skied a left-footed shot well over the bar. A minute later, we had another opportunity, when Anthony Allman took a free-kick near the left touchline. He sent in a useful, curling cross into the penalty area, and Simon Glover’s flicked back-header went just over the bar.

At the other end, in the 31^st minute, Daniel Hornsby lobbed another high, speculative cross into the Ashford goalmouth. Again, Jake failed to come for the ball, so that Anthony Allman, who had no Whyteleafe player near him, but no direction from his ‘keeper either, had no choice but to nod the ball behind for a corner. On this occasion, the set piece came to nothing. Three minutes later, George Fenwick’s persistence persuaded Oliver Barrett to concede a corner, on the right. This was taken by Kenny Jarrett-Elliott, again attacking the near post, but this was headed behind by Luke Basford, the man on the post, for another corner. Whilst the follow-up kick also failed to produce a clear-cut chance, Ashford managed to keep the pressure on the home defence, and, soon after, Matt Carruthers was tripped as he careered through central midfield, towards the Whyteleafe area. This provided Ashford with a free-kick in a position that really did have possibilities, and Anthony Allman was the first among our free-kick specialists to have a crack (as each of them did in turn throughout the match – all failing to deliver). Anthony’s method was to go for the direct power shot – as he did, successfully, against Folkestone in the Kent Senior Cup victory earlier on in the season – but this time his effort was always going wide.

In the 39^th minute, Marc Cumberbatch and Tommy Adlington had an awkward, bouncing ball to deal with, running back towards their own goal; the ball broke to Danny Plâtel, who struck his shot firmly, and on target, but Jake Whincup this time made an excellent save. The resulting corner, from the left, was crossed long, beyond the far post, where Daniel Hornsby headed wide.

It was in the 42^nd minute that Walid Matata gave a glimpse of what he is capable of. A long clearance from the Ashford defence went beyond the Whyteleafe defensive line; Walid gave his man a start of at least five yards, but, with a lightning burst of speed, got to the ball easily, and was set for a one-on-one with the goalkeeper. The chance was snuffed out when the defender cynically hauled Walid down, in what looked to be a clear example of a red-card offence. Unsurprisingly, Referee Bentley (who had a big nose) seemed to chicken out, and settled for showing a yellow card. This time it was Drew Watkins’s turn to try to make something of the free-kick. Now, we know that Drew is capable of “bending it like Rossi” – David Beckham has also scored the odd goal in this manner – as he hit the bar, from a free-kick in a similar position, at Tooting & Mitcham. On this occasion, Drew managed to curl the ball over and around the defensive wall, but also wide of the goal.

Matata had another chance to score, shortly before half time, when George Fenwick flicked on another long clearance. Walid got to the ball at about the same time as ‘keeper Danny Coote, and managed to kick it through his hands, but there was a defender on hand to hoof the ball off the line. So 1-0 it was to the green & whites (nice strip !) at the interval, but I still felt that we were bound to score against this lot, and were still probably capable of forcing a win.

This impression was very nearly confirmed in the first minute of the second half, when Walid Matata burst onto a through-ball. I was still ambling back to my position on the halfway line, with my cup of Bovril, and I should emphasise that the job of linesman is not an easy one, but I found Mr Phillips’s decision to raise his flag for offside to be totally inexplicable. Nevertheless, the flag went up, and that was that. In the 48^th minute, a good Ashford move down the right, involving Drew Watkins, Anthony Allman and Matt Carruthers, ended with a goal-mouth scramble, but the Whyteleafe defence managed to force the ball behind for a corner. This was taken by Kenny Jarrett-Elliott, on the right, and his deep cross was headed against the far post by Matt Carruthers.

In the 50^th minute, good defending by Simon Glover conceded a corner at the other end, on the Whyteleafe right. This produced a rare scare in the second half for the Ashford defence, as ‘Leafe skipper Danny Arkwright, who looked to be about seven feet tall, rose to meet the cross with a good, on-target header, but Tommy Adlington was there to clear the ball off the line.

Generally, though, Ashford always looked to be the side most likely to score – even through my biased eyes – and we had another free-kick opportunity in the 53^rd minute. This came about as a result of a trip by Jo Clarke on Walid Matata, for which the Whyteleafe No.8 got booked. This time, it was Matt Carruthers’s turn to go for goal; with the ‘Leafe defensive wall lined up on the edge of the penalty area, Matt’s curling shot went just past the angle of post and bar. The home side did, though, have a free-kick in a dangerous position a couple of minutes later – this was for a push by Marc Cumberbatch on Daniel Hornsby. Jo Clarke took the kick, from just outside the area, bending the ball around the wall, and it needed a very good diving save from Jake Whincup to keep it out. He managed to push Clarke’s effort around the post, for a corner, and then came out to collect the resulting cross with an acrobatic leap and a catch that was so impressive that it drew chuckles of appreciation from his team-mates on the bench.

In the 62^nd minute, Whyteleafe made their first substitution, with Calvin MacLean replacing Leon McDowell; Luke Coleman got the call to get ready from John Cumberbatch at about the same time, and eventually went on for Drew Watkins in the 64^th minute.

In the 68^th minute, George Fenwick and Walid Matata again combined well, when George put Walid through with a one-on-one with the goalkeeper, only for Coote to make a good save at his feet – the ball broke to George, and it looked like he only had to knock it into an empty net, but the ball was deflected for a corner. Kenny Three Names took the kick, on the right, and the ball was soon returned to him; he crossed the ball again, and, this time, he found Simon Glover, arriving at the far post, who nodded the ball down into the far corner of the net. This was Glovesie’s first goal for Ashford in his current spell at the Club, and it’s a little ironic that he has broken what was becoming quite a worrying duck when being switched to the back four !  (For you anoraks out there, Gloves has, at the time of writing, played exactly 2,000 minutes of football this season for that one goal).

With Whyteleafe reacting by immediately replacing Kris Barry with Tony Martin, Ashford then started to show what they were capable of, as, for a short spell after that equaliser, they visibly increased the tempo of their play. In the 73^rd minute, a cross from the left from Simon Glover was headed clear by the Whyteleafe defence, but only as far as Kenny, on the edge of the area, who attempted an ambitious, long-range header that went just wide. A minute later, Gloves sent in another cross from the left, after some good hold-up work from Walid Matata, but Luke Coleman headed wide at the far post.

In the 78^th minute, Whyteleafe broke out of defence with a move that took them all the way to the corner flag, on the right, but good defending by Tom Adlington conceded a corner. There was a delay as, first the referee took time out to yellow-card Danny Plâtel, for an earlier incident, and then play was suspended for treatment to a Whyteleafe player. When Jo Clarke eventually took the kick, Marc Cumberbatch did well to head the ball clear, in spite of being challenged by ‘Leafe’s giant centre-half Danny Arkwright – later, Arkwright was to be named as the home team’s Man-of-the-Match, according to a supporters’ poll, whilst Cumber was named as the MK Man-of-the-Match, after another solid and polished performance at the back.

By the time that Matt Kember was replaced by Scott Marshall, in the 81^st minute, Whyteleafe appeared to have weathered the brief onslaught, and the draw began to look the most likely result. They did have a free-kick in a dangerous position, in the 82^nd minute, which Jo Clarke curled straight at Jake Whincup, and substitute Tony Martin had a long-range shot which curled wide of the post, on the 90-minute mark, but there would be no addition to the score. The last act of note came in the 92^nd minute, when George Fenwick got himself booked, (in spite of trying to persuade Mr Bentley that it was now hardly worth bothering with – “Yes, I think we need a good send-off”, was the ref’s banter, in response !).

In terms of the league positions at the bottom of Ryman Division 1 South, there was no change – with Walton Casuals also picking up a Boxing Day point, they remain on the same number of points as the two teams in action today – but Ashford will have been more content with the draw, given that they have three games in hand of today’s hosts. There was, however, a very strong consensus among the lads afterwards that this was a couple of points dropped, as we had enough of the game, and demonstrated enough superiority, to feel that we could, and should, have taken all three.

Never mind; let’s not be too greedy. At least the lads are beginning to play well, and there is evidence that a good squad of players is rapidly gelling together. On Saturday, there is a far sterner test – at home to Hastings United, in a proper holiday-period derby. We beat Hastings 0-1 at The Pilot Field earlier on in the season, but they’re a much better side now, and proved that with a 1-1 draw at home to Dover this afternoon.

Man of the Match

(to go towards the Milton Keynes Bowl)

Marc Cumberbatch

ARCHIVE: Whyteleafe v Ashford Town. Ryman League Division 1 South. January 2006.

Whyteleafe         3       Ashford Town   2

from Your Milton Keynes Correspondent

Although we’ve had only two games so far in 2006, it’s already been a year of extreme highs and lows. From the euphoria of the 3-0 first-half performance against Dover, which culminated in that exhilarating third goal from Denver “Box to Box” Birmingham, the lads suffered the crushing psychological blow of that 93rd minute winner for the Metropolitan Police last Saturday. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that we collected three points from those two games, whilst, of our rivals at the bottom of the table, only Corinthian Casuals managed to get a point (and only one) during the same period, with Burgess Hill Town actually playing three games.

That, I’m afraid is the stark reality of our current position – we’re in a division within a division, involving four teams: ourselves (18 points from 25 games, at the start of today’s play), Burgess Hill Town (17 from 22), Corinthian Casuals (16 from 24) and Newport IoW (15 from 23). In theory, two of these teams are supposed to go down at the end of the season, but, with another restructuring happening in non-league football in the Summer, which will involve a whole bunch of teams being promoted from Step 5 to our level, the chances are that no more than one team will actually go down. Nevertheless, it’s always good to set your sights high, so we really should be aiming for 21^st position or better in this 23-team division. That means that we just need to make sure that we keep two of these three teams behind us. (We still need to play these three teams once; away from home each time).

The fact that we’re in another relegation battle in Ryman Division 1 – and not fighting it out for third place behind Beckenham and Maidstone in the Kent League – is due to events here at Church Road, Whyteleafe, on the last day of last season. Whilst Ashford were a few miles down the road at Horsham, getting thrashed 5-0, Whyteleafe saved our skin by getting a 3-1 result against Dorking, which relegated The Dorks, in our stead. In recognition of the debt that we undoubtedly owe The ‘Leafe, Mrs Milton Keynes Correspondent and I kissed the ground as we passed through the turnstiles.

As the name of the place suggests, today’s venue was deep in leafy Surrey (i.e. posh end – compared to South Ashford, at least). It’s a pleasant, tree-lined little ground at Church Road. It’s also what the Queen Mother used to describe as an “arse about face” ground, with the main stand (the “Gold Air Stand”) behind one goal, and a smaller stand with a few green and white seats, including club Directors’ seats, on the half-way line. The place has rather more terracing than some venues in Ryman Division 1, and is capable of holding more than the 176 that turned up this afternoon, (295 is Whyteleafe’s best crowd so far this season). The pitch was blighted with patches of bare mud, but that was hardly surprising, given the wet weather that’s been about recently.

There were a few “nice to see”s in the Ashford line-up. Firstly, it was nice to see Rossi making his 201^st appearance for the Club – having been told that he would never play football again, following that horrendous double-fracture of the leg, I’m sure that he doesn’t take playing for granted, so we shouldn’t either. Quite apart from that, three of Ashford Town’s last four goals have come about as a result of an Ian Ross cross or free-kick. It was also good to see Big Dave Wietecha back in goal – no disrespect to Sean Glover (who was apparently at fault to some extent for both goals against The Met), but Dave is an outstanding ‘keeper. In front of him, we had the now-familiar back-four of Rossi, Mark Banks, Tom Adlington and Jamie Smith. (Once again, the full-backs towered over their centre-back colleagues – but so too did the Whyteleafe forwards !). On the subject of defenders, it was good to see former captain and centre-half Peter Mortley on the bench. Peter has recently left Hastings United, reportedly on the grounds of the travelling he has to do from his Medway home, and has apparently re-signed for us.

There is plenty of competition for places in midfield at the moment, and the promising RJ Boorman also had to be content with a place on the subs’ bench. The preferred central defensive pairing is currently Denver Birmingham (now fit enough to complete 90 minutes of late) and Gary Clarke, with J-P Collier on the right, and Sol Henry on the left. Emmanuel Sackey also had to make do with a place on the bench, with Nathan Thomas and Anthony Pace being other midfielders unable to make the first team squad. With Joby Thorogood starting a four-game ban, Shaun Bradshaw partnered Adrian Stone up front, (Adrianho carrying the Club’s yellow livery for the first time, with Whyteleafe playing in their usual Celtic strip). The bench was completed by Kennickson Jarrett-Elliott and Sean Glover.

There was something of a Bromley reunion here, as Kevin George was named in the Whyteleafe side, having been released from Bromley in the same cull that has enabled Adrian Stone and John-Paul Collier to return to Ashford. (I now understand that Adrianho is with us on a month’s loan, but presumably this loan-period can be extended when it expires).

In damping, overcast conditions, Ashford started the better of the two teams, and ran the game for the first ten minutes. Our one shooting chance during this period came after Adrianho had shown good skill to win a corner, on the right. Skipper Ian Ross came across to take it, his cross falling to Shaun Bradshaw – Bradders hit his shot into the ground, and it bounced up for a comfortable catch for ‘keeper James Wastell.

Whyteleafe’s first real venture into Ashford’s half of the field came after ten minutes – and it took this long for Jamie Smith to lunge in with his first reckless tackle. Smudger is obviously a very talented footballer, but his disciplinary record has been appalling since he joined us. Having been sent off for two yellows in the previous match, against the Met Police, he again attracted the referee’s attention. The resulting free-kick, from wide on the left, was floated into the Ashford area, and was nodded down by a Whyteleafe forward, but this was easy for Dave Wietecha to gather.

In the twelfth minute, Shaun Bradshaw had a glimmer of a chance when he almost latched onto a fairly innocuous ball from deep midfield – it just needed him to get a toe to the ball, but he couldn’t make the vital contact, and the ball went harmlessly through to James Wastell.

After creating some promising situations with a corner, and a free-kick in a forward position, Ashford then went behind, in the 16^th minute. Mark Banks, who has been looking quite solid at the back since establishing himself in the side, appeared to be in control of a long ball from the ‘Leafe defence, chasing back towards his own goal. Unfortunately, he fluffed the tap back to Dave Wietecha, and presented a great chance for a Whyteleafe forward. (I wasn’t on great form when it came to identifying the opposition’s players today – mainly because the black numbers on the hooped shirts were not decipherable beyond a distance of about ten yards !). Big Dave made the first of a number of great saves, but ‘Leafe skipper Lee Sidwell was there to hammer in the rebound.

A minute later, there was the first sign of ill-feeling on the field, when an incident involving Jean-Paul Collier led to a push & shove session that involved most of the outfield players. To say that J-P got booked for a foul is incorrect – he actually got booked for kicking an opponent in the back of the legs, after his victim had passed the ball. Whether it was as a result of something that had been said to him, or a previous challenge, J-P was clearly peering through a red mist of some kind, and a yellow card, at least, was inevitable. Whyteleafe’s Gareth Graham was also booked, presumably for his part in the ensuing ruck.

Collier’s yellow card really should have acted as a warning to him to watch his step for the rest of the game – which is what they’re for, after all – but, three minutes later, he dived in with a late, reckless and brainless tackle, right under referee Haines’s nose. It was almost as if he had a train to catch, as the red card was automatic. As travelling fans, we get used to players making mistakes, with some struggling to make the grade at this level, and with some not being as fit as they might be, and we tend to take such things with a pinch of salt, but this was very hard to accept. John-Paul’s actions appeared to be those of a player who had absolutely no regard for the interests of the Club. Worse than that, he let his team-mates down badly, as they were now a goal down, a man down and with still 70 minutes to play. The lads have enough on their plate at the moment, and having had to play with nine and ten men in recent matches hasn’t helped their cause.

Things might have gone downhill very rapidly from here, following Collier’s dereliction of duty – in the First World War he would’ve been shot ! – but, surprisingly, Ashford hit back almost immediately, with an equaliser. It was a well-taken goal, but it certainly involved some slack defending from the home side. A free-kick from the half-way line from Ian Ross was floated into the Whyteleafe area – this found Adrianho in plenty of space, and he had time to control the ball and square it to Shaun Bradshaw. Bradders also had time to steady himself, and planted the ball into the corner of the net.

That meant that four of Ashford Town’s last five goals had come about as a result of an Ian Ross cross or free-kick.

One thing that can be said about Ashford’s reaction to going down to ten men is that the two-man attack was generally maintained; Jamie Smith tended to push up into the right of midfield whenever possible, leaving three at the back in a 3-4-2 formation. This defence did, however, find itself under pressure for much of the remainder of the game, especially in the lead-up to half time. In the 24^th minute, Mark Banks had to concede a corner when coming across with a saving tackle – Dave Wietecha demonstrated that there is at least some height in the Ashford defence, when he rose to easily collect the resulting cross. A minute later, Ian Ross conceded a free-kick on the Ashford left. This was floated long to the far post, and long-haired No.10 Andrew Martin – think of Francis Rossi in his prime, circa 1973 – got up high above Ashford Town’s Rossi, and did just about all that could be expected of him, with a good, downward header. This “finish” deserved a goal, but Dave Wietecha did well to make a great save, one-handed, low to his right. After some fairly boorish behaviour from some football clubs in this league recently, and in a game where ill-temper was never far below the surface, I’m delighted to report that Andrew Martin sportingly shook Big Dave’s hand, to congratulate him on the save.

Whyteleafe weren’t to be denied for long, though, and they regained the lead in the 35^th minute – but once again it took them two attempts to get past Dave Wietecha. Gareth Graham, who looked to be the home side’s inspiration in midfield, sent in a dangerous, curling cross to the near post, from a free-kick. Dave did well to keep the ball out, in the first instance, but Bobby George was there, on the oche, to knock in the rebound.

In the 42^nd minute, Jamie Smith (unusually, it must be said) gave the ball away, with a misplaced pass, and the Whyteleafe midfield immediately sprang out to attack, quickly outnumbering the Ashford defence, four against three. Sol Henry did well to get back goal-side of the ball, holding the attack up and eventually winning a free-kick. Solly had a really good game defensively today, looking strong when in possession, and often tracking back to help the defence. (The fact that he never threatened as an attacking force, not giving the merest hint that he might put in a cross from the left, was one of the reasons for few chances being created by the visitors this afternoon).

Andrew Martin – anyone remember Mario Kempes, who played for Argentina in the seventies and eighties ? – showed himself to be a quality player, with 45 minutes on the watch. He chased a ball down the right wing, to the corner flag, turned and beat two Ashford defenders, beat another one to find himself inside the Ashford penalty area, and then saw his shot well saved by Dave Wietecha. Although he didn’t get onto the scoresheet, Martin was later named as Man of the Match, and this was well deserved.

So 2-1 to The ‘Leafe at half time, and, although Ashford generally played OK, particularly in midfield and in defence, it was significant that James Wastell, in the home goal, hadn’t actually made a save in the first half.

Whyteleafe had the first chance of the second half, winning a corner, as early as the 47^th minute, after Sol Henry had done a good covering job for Ian Ross. The corner was floated deep, beyond the far post, and Andrew Martin was there with a volley on the turn, but his effort flashed just over the bar.

Rossi – I’m referring to the Ashford captain again here – was the next yellow-shirted player to pick up a yellow card. This was for a late tackle, in the 51^st minute; nothing vicious or vindictive, but it was late. The energetic Gareth Graham took the free-kick, a short distance from the left corner of the Ashford area, and faced by a three-man wall. Graham’s cross skidded dangerously through the Ashford six-yard box, and behind, and must have touched a defender, as a corner was given. Graham came across to the right to take the corner himself, but Ian Ross headed clear.

Jason Goodchild scuffed a weak shot wide of the post, two minutes later, but the next chance came at the other end. Denver “Two Cities” Birmingham did well to win a corner, on the right, in the 56^th minute. This was taken by Ian Ross, aiming for the head of Adrianho, at the near post; the Bromley Brazilian got half a head to it, but, after a brief scramble in the Whyteleafe penalty area, the ball was cleared.

Adrianho had a much better chance three minutes later. Running onto a long ball from defence, he got a touch to take the ball past the goalkeeper, but a Whyteleafe defender, running back, was able to clear the ball from the gaping mouth of the goal.

‘Leafe manager Stuart Massey made his first substitution in the 61^st minute, replacing Gareth Graham, who had been hobbling a little, with Tony Martin – probably with the instruction that all Ashford players intruding into the penalty area should be shot in the back !  Similarly, the Ashford bench – with Tim Thorogood now back from Las Vegas – brought off Gary Clarke, who seemed to be carrying a knock of some kind, and replaced him with RJ Boorman, in the 65^th minute.

As the home side continued to press forward, Bobby George managed a weak shot straight at Dave Wietecha, in the 66^th minute, and then, two minutes later, a headed clearance from Tom Adlington fell to the feet of Kevin George, and the ex-Bromley man’s shot was deflected wide for a corner. The resulting cross was drilled, all along the ground, to Leigh Douce in the heart of the penalty area, and the centre-half sweetly (get it ?) side-footed the ball into the corner of the net. This looked bad, defensively, as the ball was allowed to travel a long way without a defender getting a foot to it, but this also looked to be a training ground set-piece, so you have to give the attacking team some credit for that.

At 3-1, and with ten-man Ashford having created so few chances, that looked to be the goal that wrapped up the points for Whyteleafe, but, for the second time in the match, the boys scored when everyone least expected them to. In fact, it was just a minute later that they pulled the score back to 3-2. A great, diagonal ball from RJ Boorman – a bit of a trade mark, really – was chased into the right corner of the pitch by Denver Birmingham, and the Colorado city won a free-kick, near the corner flag. Ian Ross went across to take the kick, and curled the ball deep into the area. Sol Henry got as high as he could, and aimed a looping header towards goal. This should have been an easy tip-over for Whyteleafe’s ‘keeper Leigh Wastell, but he did no more than deflect the ball onto the bar – he flicked his hand at the ball again, as it dropped, but the ball plopped embarrassingly into the corner of the net. This was a comical gaff from a normally reliable and well-respected ‘keeper, but all gifts are gratefully received by Ashford Town at this stage of the season. The goal was actually credited to Solomon Henry, so, at long last, after 40 hours and 14 minutes of football for Ashford this season – and with his brother scoring a hat-trick for Arsenal this afternoon - Solly has finally broken his duck.

It also meant that five of Ashford Town’s last six goals had come about as a result of an Ian Ross cross or free-kick.

Wastell’s uncharacteristic horlicks appeared to be contagious, as Dave Wietecha did something very similar at the other end, in the 73^rd minute. Dave looked to have a similarly easy task to tip over a curling cross, from a free-kick near the by-line, but he failed to make the necessary contact, and the ball skidded off the face of the bar. RJ Boorman picked the ball up and cleared.

Whilst there was plenty of time left for Ashford to grab an equaliser, this never looked likely to happen, and a fourth goal for Whyteleafe was far more likely. In the 75^th minute, a speculative long-range shot was deflected behind for a corner, which Ian Ross headed clear. Two minutes later, a good run down the left wing resulted in a cross to Andrew Martin, at the near post, but a great volley from the No.10 flashed just over the bar. In the 81^st minute, a through-ball from midfield split the Ashford defence, and presented Jason Goodchild with a one-on-one with Dave Wietecha, in the Ashford area, but big Dave did well yet again, saving at the midfielder’s feet.

The occasional ill-temperedness of the first half appeared to have died down, but, seemingly from nowhere, things “kicked off” again in the 85^th minute. A free-kick was awarded to Ashford, and the two players involved appeared to get into a bit of a tangle. Well, one thing led to another, and soon there was a mass scrum. This was the usual sort of thing – much pushing and shoving; some players trying to make peace, but actually making things worse; some players trying to make war, but being unable to get a clean punch in. The best box-to-box run of the entire match came from the linesman on the far side, who sprinted three-quarters of the length of the pitch – presumably to tell the referee that he saw everything !  Anyway, after several minutes of discussion and delay, the result was a yellow card for the not-so-sweet Leigh Douce. After further debate, Jamie Smith was shown a yellow card – his second of the match – and, as night follows day, a red. It appeared to be a harsh decision for Smith to be singled out, from all the players who were involved in the incident, but it later emerged that he was yellow-carded for throwing a punch. If that’s the case, then Jamie can have no complaints, and should be thankful that it was not a straight red, to follow his yellow card in the first half. Being sent off for the second successive match, I’m not sure how long his “holiday” will be, but I assume this will mean a lengthy ban. (Mortley to come back into the centre of defence, enabling Tom Adlington to return to his right-back position ?). It also meant that Ashford Town continued with this very poor disciplinary record; we’ve now failed to finish with eleven players in three of the last four games, having collected no fewer than five red cards in that time. This could well prove costly when the suspensions start.

The home side shouldn’t get too sanctimonious about this, as they were very fortunate to finish with all their playing personnel on the field – in this most recent incident I distinctly saw a right hook thrown by an arm in a green & white hooped sleeve, and left-back Chris Head also threw a punch, in the first half, which was not spotted by the officials.

When the football eventually restarted, Ian Ross’s free-kick went harmlessly through the Whyteleafe penalty area, and beyond the far post, but there was a further lengthy delay to enable treatment for both James Wastell and Shaun Bradshaw, who had accidentally clashed in mid-air as Bradders challenged for the ball.

With 91 minutes on the clock, but with the expectation of plenty of injury time, Adrianho, who, like Bradshaw, had worked hard up front throughout the game, got caught in possession on the half-way line. Whyteleafe immediately sprang out from midfield, and Tommy Adlington and Mark Banks soon found themelves wide-eyed and outnumbered – six against two. Again, though, Sol Henry got back well to defend, and further losses were avoided.

When the referee’s final whistle went after only four minutes of injury time, it was something of a surprise, but Whyteleafe looked more than capable of running down the clock, as necessary.

Ashford weren’t thrashed 4-0; we weren’t out-played; we weren’t out-classed; nobody threw the towel in. The truth, though, is that, whilst the majority of the players had a good game, the opposition goalkeeper wasn’t called upon to make a save in anger. Ashford were actually quite flattered that the scoreline was so close, with our second goal being an absolute gift. So, after just one away win in 2005, the first away match of 2006 has resulted in defeat. Today’s result must have been quite a relief for Whyteleafe, as this was their first win in the league since the 22^nd of November.

The overwhelming mood amongst the players and management after the game appeared to be one of disappointment that the job had been made harder by the actions of a deserter after only 20 minutes of the game. Not that there was much opportunity for post mortems after the game; with a clubhouse packed with players and supporters wishing to talk footy, all conversations were drowned by a pub band that decided to embark on an unwelcome practice session in the bar. (This was not the calibre of artist that would get Steve Monk falling over himself to make a booking for Ashford Rocks – one of the old standards murdered was The Who’s “Substitute”, but Anthony Pace wasn’t present to be able to appreciate the joke). I’m not sure who gave permission for this racket to be made at this time and in this place, but, whoever it was, they have no understanding of the grieving process that we fans need to go through immediately after a defeat.

In the current situation, no report would be complete without it being put in the context of how the other teams in the relegation mini-league got on: whilst Burgess Hill Town won at home, both Newport and Corinthians lost, so the overall damage was minimal, I suppose. Our next opponents are Tonbridge Angels, at home (!).

ARCHIVE: Whyteleafe v Ashford Town. Ryman League Division 1 South. 2004-5 season.

Whyteleafe         3       Ashford Town   0

from Your Milton Keynes Correspondent

We have a club with something of a split personality at the moment. Whilst things have rarely been so good off the field, it must be said that, on the field, Ashford Town FC is at its lowest ever ebb.

[ Lowest so far, that is. I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a Croydon fan at half-time when we played down at their place earlier this month. He asked me if I had been an Ashford fan all my life. “Well, no, because I’m not dead yet” was my reply – which seemed to make perfect sense at the time. I suppose the same applies in the context of a football club. ]

It’s difficult to know how much worse it could get, though. Not only are we three leagues below the Conference, for the first time in our history, but we’ve somehow contrived to spend some time at the bottom of a league where attendances in double figures are not uncommon. Our own home attendances are averaging 210 at the moment – well down on last season’s average of 284 – but there are still only four or five clubs in our division who will beat that. We’ve since managed to shoot up to 19^th, but the fact remains that we’ve won only two games since April in all competitions, including friendlies, and we’ve already dipped out of three cup competitions at the first hurdle – the home Kent Senior Cup tie against Sittingbourne could be our only home cup match of the season. Oh, and most of our decent players have either left, or are on the injury list.

Contrast that lot with the health of the Club off the field. With the now infamous John Gurney at arm’s length, most of the Club’s debts now paid off and the whole show now being run properly, we must be one of the most financially sound clubs in non-league football. Not only that, but there are good income streams coming in. The cash from the ground-sharing arrangement with Margate is like off-shore oil to us (only temporary), the function facilities at The Homelands provide a good income and there is talk of bits of new money coming into the Club. It’s for these reasons that there are still some of us who believe that better times must be just around the corner, but it all seems to require endless patience.

But wait. Cometh the hour, cometh the man !  We now have a high-profile Manager on the bridge. Former Queen’s Park Rangers, Spurs and England player Terry Fenwick has taken on the job, with a position as Director to confirm his commitment. This can only be good news for the Club. As well as having had a glittering playing career, Terry has more than proved himself as a Manager, at Crystal Palace, Spurs and Barcelona – he’s also shown that he still has an appetite for the game more recently, with short spells at Leeds United and Middlesbrough.

Terry won’t need to learn to speak Catalán for this task, but he has to realise that this is not a negligible job that he’s taken on. Ashford is a town of over 65,000 people – if you include the rural district, which extends right down to Romney Marsh, the population is pushing 100,000. El Tel needs to know that he carries with him the hopes and dreams of, oh, literally dozens of people.

Fortunately, the fixture list has offered our new leader the chance to make some headway. Whyteleafe are also struggling at the wrong end of the table, and lost 0-5 to Horsham last week. After that we’re at home to Banstead on Tuesday, and they’re one place below us, and also struggling for form. Every chance of some return from the next two games, then. Unfortunately, Whyteleafe and Banstead will also be fancying their chances – and with some justification !

I’d never heard of Whyteleafe – either the place or the football team – before they had a good run in the FA Cup a few years back. Remember cup runs ?!  Needless to say, as with all the games I’ll see this season, it’s a place I’ve never been to before. But, as expected, the ground was situated in a fairly leafy part of Surrey. It’s quite a neat little stadium, freshly painted in green and white. Surrounded by trees on three sides, the ground has its main stand behind one of the goals; a smaller concrete stand with seats for club directors is on the half-way line, on the opposite side to the dug-outs. The pitch looked in good condition, and had a characteristic non-league slope.

One thing I forgot to mention when pronouncing that most of our decent players are either gone or missing, is that we actually acquired one or two decent players from our mugging of Southall FC. (That was straight from the George W Bush School of Mergers and Take-overs – but who cares ?). The player I’m thinking of in particular is Byron Glasgow (ex-Reading), who has the class and the knowledge to really lead the midfield. Unfortunately, he picked up an injury at Tooting on Tuesday, so was missing today. Also watching from the stand were the much-missed trio of Matt Bower (who scored for the reserves in mid-week), Paul O’Brien and Paul Jones; Aaron O’Leary, who also turned out for the ressies on Wednesday, was also missing, and there was still no sign of Lee Blackman.

It was good to see John Whitehouse back between the sticks, with Will Toal having done a sound job in John’s absence. (If the reports of this French goalie in the reserves – Karl Levielle – are correct, we could almost say that our three best players are all goalkeepers !). Barry Gardner continued his partnership in central defence with Steve MacKenzie; Tom Adlington was at No.2 (a more natural position for him than centre-half), but there was a new lad at left-back: Chris Barrett. Chris is a product of Frank Gill’s scouting and recruitment skills, and looked the part. He’s tall and athletic, and seems comfortable with the ball at his feet.

I was also pleased to see Joby in a central striking role, rather than being wasted wide. He was partnered by the bulky and immobile (but obviously talented) Andre Robinson, who wore the captain’s arm-band today. Robinson tended to be furthest forward, so the idea was probably to use his strength, so that Joby might profit from some knock-downs. I might as well list the midfield, but they were largely irrelevant, as they tended to have balls punted over their head like mortars, and they barely featured in the match. In the middle we had John Mighty and another new boy, Dean Clement, with the Dussard brothers playing wide – Erron on the right, and Leon on the left. On the bench we had Chris Holmes, Joffy, Tom Evans, Marvin Elliott and Toal, the substitute goalie.

One thing I must say, before I start on the bad news, was that the weather played a blinder. After some filthy weather during the week, today was bright, sunny and mild. Unfortunately, if the scoreline and other eye-witness accounts have not already told the story, I have to report that this was a clueless performance by Ashford Town. There aren’t many weaker teams left in our division to test ourselves against, but we failed to create anything of note, and this unexceptional lot ultimately played us off the park.

The ball was in the Ashford net as early as the 12^th minute, but we were saved by the referee’s whistle. A Whyteleafe free-kick from near the corner flag was cleared, but a second cross came in from an almost identical position, curling into the far post, under John Whitehouse’s cross-bar. The ball was somehow bundled into the net, but the referee must have seen a foul on the goalkeeper.

The home side, playing in Celtic colours of green and white hoops, white shorts and white socks, kept a tight line at the back, and had the off-side trap working well from an early stage. Their main threat appeared, early on, to be from crosses, particularly from Chris Head, on the left. Ashford, in contrast, played their own brand of one-touch football.

I should explain this term. When Arsenal and Brazil play one-touch football it consists of short, incisive passes, and is beautiful to watch. The non-league version of one-touch football is played by poor players who feel ill at ease on the ball – they treat the ball like a hot potato, and hoof it away as soon as they get it. Passes are mainly long and hopeful, and the result is most often to give the ball away to the opposition. Now I’m not suggesting that it’s a tactic that the team discusses beforehand: “make sure you boot the ball as far as you can, whenever you can, boys”. It’s probably more a symptom of a lack of confidence, and, I’m afraid, a lack of quality in the playing staff that Terry currently has at his disposal. I think it’s probably fair to say that there was never a moment when the boys really got the ball down and tried to knock it around.

Back to the tale of woe. The next scare came after 16 minutes, when a header from Whyteleafe’s Gareth Graham, who has recently returned to Church Road, thumped against the foot of the post. A corner was awarded, so it seems reasonable to give John Whitehouse credit for making a save. John also got a good fist to the resulting corner.

The first recognisable chance for the yellow-shirted visitors was on 23 minutes. Leafe ‘keeper James Wastell had to come out to deal with a through-ball from Mighty John, and, finding himself outside his area, had to head clear, under pressure from Joby. With the goal unattended, Erron Dussard tried a first-time lob – a good idea, but his attempt went wide.

There’s no doubt that the home side had the better of the first half, but the Ashford defence held firm. Steve Mackenzie kept good tabs on the Whyteleafe centre-forward, and the off-side trap worked to good effect on occasions. Young Barry is looking comfortable at the back, but I get the impression that he’s sometimes too much of a footballer for that position, and is inclined occasionally to get caught in possession.

The best move, and the biggest round of applause, of the half came five minutes before the interval, and it featured Leafe’s Player-Manager, Stuart Massey. Fat ?  Yes. Bald ?  Yes. Ugly ?  I’m terribly sorry, but he stood out as the best player on the pitch this afternoon. A mazy run from Massey took him well into the Ashford penalty area, and he had the presence of mind to chip a cross to Lewis Taylor, on the right. Taylor caught the ball sweetly, on the volley, but blasted it just over the bar.

It must be said that Ashford came out for the second half with more purpose, and had a good little spell for about seven minutes. We actually won a corner after 48 minutes, and, shortly after, Erron Dussard had a shot on target from just outside the area, but ‘keeper Wastell was comfortably behind it. In the 50^th minute, Andre Robinson collected the ball on the edge of the area, and a neat turn took him into the Whyteleafe box, but his effort was smothered by the home defence.

After this brief revival, however, the rest of the game was mainly one-way traffic. On 55 minutes, the Whyteleafe boss took a corner on the right, and played it short – à la Tottenham Hotspur, which must have seemed a bit ironic to El Tel – to Richard Williams, but the home No.8 could only hoike the ball over the bar.

Whyteleafe were now starting to play some decent football, and the pressure on the Ashford goal was building. In an effort to turn the tide, Terry brought off both Dussard brothers on the hour mark – or maybe their Mum had rung to say they had to go home for their tea – and put on Tom Evans and Joffy Thorogood. A minute later, though, it was the home side that had a free-kick in a dangerous position near the corner flag, after a little shove from Mighty John. That man Massey once again took the kick, and an excellent curling cross to the near post was met by the head of Williams, but he could only put the ball wide of goal.

In the 63^rd minute, another threatening move from Leafe resulted in the Ashford defence forcing the ball behind for a corner. Massey curled the ball dangerously under JW’s cross-bar, and a short session of head tennis ended with a header into the Ashford net, to give the home side a deserved lead.

The boys tried to respond three minutes later, and had a free-kick wide on the right. The cross into the centre found Dean Clement on the edge of the “D”, but his attempted bicycle kick was charged down.

After 68 minutes, Whyteleafe went 2-0 up, and this one was a really bad goal to concede. Quite simply, a regulation throw-in found Kevin Lock (not the former West Ham centre-half !) totally unmarked in the penalty area, and he had the simple job of thumping the ball home. This caused a great deal of arguing and arm-waving among the Ashford defenders, and for a time it seemed that things might go seriously pear-shaped, and any number of goals seemed likely. Our players now also started to show a good deal of frustration, and got a bit tetchy, and the referee had to be on his toes to calm down the odd flare-up. Of course, it didn’t help that Whyteleafe now started to play with the confidence of a team with a two-goal lead. Ashford still persisted with the first-time long balls.

Somehow, we got through this shaky period without conceding another goal, and without getting a player booked, and we actually created a chance, after 81 minutes. Predictably, this came from a dead-ball situation. Tom Adlington floated a long free-kick into the Whyteleafe box; centre-half Steve MacKenzie got up to meet it, but headed wide.

Ashford also put together their best (and only) passing move of the game with five minutes to go. Chris Barrett won the ball near his own corner flag, and carried it up-field. The move, involving Joffy in the centre, swept the ball to the right wing position, but the home defence managed to scramble the ball out for a throw. (Material there for the forthcoming Ashford Town club video – “101 Greatest Throw-ins”).

Suitably encouraged, Barrett went on another run, cutting inside, a minute later. This time he was dispossessed, and found himself hopelessly out of position. The ball was fed wide to substitute Richard Thompson, in acres of space in the left-back position that Barrett had vacated; he managed to find a Whyteleafe forward in the centre, but the resulting tame shot was straight at John Whitehouse.

By the time Tom Evans won a corner, in the 93^rd minute, Ashford’s only hope was to get a consolation goal, but it was the home side that was to score again. With 95 minutes on the clock, Whyteleafe virtually walked the ball into the net for their third goal. Fittingly, it was the Player-Manager who played the final pass, from the edge of the six-yard box, and the tap-in was a formality.

Meanwhile, back at The Homelands, Margate were making more pennies for us by entertaining Weston-super-Mare – but the performance of the team on the pitch this afternoon illustrated the size of the task facing the new Manager. It’s true to say that this wasn’t anywhere near to being the strongest team that we can put out, once everyone is back from injury, but the boys need to pull themselves together quickly and get some sort of result against Banstead on Tuesday. Banstead got a 3-2 victory at Croydon today, so that moves us down a place, to third-bottom.

It was hard for the small band of Ashford supporters to raise even a wry, philosophical smile at the end of the game, as it was all very dispiriting. Worse than that, there were some real die-hard supporters in Surrey today who gave the distinct impression that they were losing the will to keep following the team – I hope they can find the strength to give it another ten years !  Mrs Milton Keynes Correspondent and me ?  We’ll be doing it again next week, in Croydon, for the rearranged fixture against Croydon Athletic – eyes glazed, and wondering why we do it, but we’ll be there.